NEWSLETTER SENT: 2020-07-11 (Subscribe here)
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Here’s a quick hack to look baller: download the Tesla app and place it prominently on your phone’s home screen.
I know this works because I borrowed my brother’s Tesla (👋 Nam) once and had to download the app.
I never deleted it and, when I saw a buddy recently, he noted the Tesla app on my phone and asked, “whoa, I didn’t know you owned a Tesla.”
For maximum effect, don’t have any other apps on that one screen
I let his question hang for 9 second — 9 glorious seconds when my friend thought I was way richer than I really am — then told him: “I actually don’t. It’s my brother’s.”
So, yeah. Nine seconds of glory in exchange for a lifetime of knowing I’m a fraud.
Totally worth it.
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I bring this up because Tesla ($TSLA) just had an incredible week, up nearly 30% over the past 5 trading days.
Elon is now worth $70B+ and is richer than Warren Buffett.
These gains come after Elon — the world’s greatest meme lord — announced the release of limited edition “short shorts” last Sunday (appropriately priced at $69.420). 
His antics really do seem to work. Based on rigorous quantitative research, I found that $TSLA is up one trading day after each of Elon’s absurd merchandise drops (*correlation is not blah blah blah*):
The short shorts are a culmination of many of Musk’s greatest hits:
- Hilarious merch drops (e.g., flamethrower, Boring Hat)
- Trolling short sellers
- Tesla car models spelling “sexy” (S3XY)
- The number 420
- The number 69
Frankly, it’s the perfect meme and I explain why in this Youtube video I did for The Hustle. In honor of Musk’s meme-ing genius, the video is exactly 489 seconds long (420 + 69 = 489).Â
If you’re thinking, “wow, that must have taken an unreasonable amount of time to hit this completely arbitrary time mark” then you are correct.
Anyways, enjoy!Â